The Pursuit of Happiness

Hi friends,

Sorry I haven't posted in so long--I have been very busy adventuring in my internship and around Cape Town, and then was sick this past few days with a cold.  But, never fear, back in action again!  I have a series of blog posts that I have started but have yet to complete, but I promise to post them soon. :)

I have been doing a LOT of soul searching throughout my time here in Cape Town.  Beyond anything else, this experience abroad has changed my life by opening my eyes--opening them to the beauty of the world around them, but also to the troubles; to my love of traveling; to the strength within me I didn't know I had; and to the power of family and friendship, even overseas.

I will be graduating next May with my Master's Degree, and I will begin the job search process this fall.  Job searching can be such a nerve-wracking process, especially for someone like me who needs to have a detailed plan in place.  But, after doing some soul-searching the past few weeks, and having some conversations with my wise mother, I realize that I don't have a plan for my life, and that's okay :).  I don't know where I want to live, or who I want to marry.  I don't know when I will have children, or how long I will be employed at my first full-time job.  But, that's okay.  

Traveling to Cape Town has filled my heart with so much happiness.  I love embracing the culture, meeting the people, seeing the sights, tasting the food, and learning about the history.  It has reminded me of how small I am.  How little of the world I know, and how much I have left to see and do.  And, I want to do it all.  Although I realize how happy I am here in Cape Town, and how much I desire to continue traveling throughout the world, I always dismiss such desires as unrealistic.

But, why?

I suppose it is fear.  Fear of leaving the people I love most for too long and losing them, or missing out on building wonderful memories with them.  Fear of financing such ambitions (eek).  Fear that such dreams would conflict with my life plan and throw it off track.

But, that's okay.

They always say "mother knows best".  And, it's true.  Tonight when skyping with my mom, she was so happy to see me, because my happiness here makes her happy.  My mom was beaming with the excitement of everything I am doing here in South Africa because she is realizing how much of a profound impact this experience is having on me.  Not even in terms of professional development, but through the cultural and local experiences I have that help me to gain a deeper, more profound understanding of the world around me.  She was encouraging me to continue traveling everywhere, and she even asked me if there were any programs in my field of study that would allow me to travel abroad while working (similar to that of a "Teach for America" program). 

I was baffled by her suggestion.  It was just a couple short months ago my mom was clutching me to her side telling me I can't stay in South Africa forever and must come home.  Now she was suggesting I continue traveling around the world, and worry about settling down and starting a family later.  It was at this point during the conversation that I started crying; not because I was sad, but because I was happy. 

Why?

Because this is when I realized that it's okay.  I can explore the world, and I can take risks, and I can try something new, and it will be okay.  Not only can I do all these things, but maybe my life plan is simply to not have a plan; to learn how to roll with the punches; to embrace every opportunity; to follow the principles of 'Hakuna Matata'; and to never let fear stop me from doing what makes me happy.  Like I said, "mother knows best".

I've decided that life is not about the pursuit of happiness, it is simply about doing what you makes you happy.  

With love,
Kaity